


Somebody That I Used To Know.

by Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Social Anxiety, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:30:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7374520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>GRAPHIC RAPE/ ABUSE SCENE RIGHT OFF THE BAT! DON'T READ IF THAT WILL UPSET YOU PLEASE! </p><p>You're Tig's old lady and end up getting caught up in a club beef that leads you to getting raped. Tig does what he does best, acts like an asshole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoy! Thank you for reading! <3

_I'm strong, I can do this, this is nothing._ I felt him slamming into me as I was tied to the bed and I tried not to cry out. In and out, in and out, in and out as hard as he could and he just kept going for what seemed like hours. My poor body was bruised, bitten, used, cut, and sore beyond belief but I would not cry out, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.  
"Just tell me where he is. This all stops once your old man is dead." He whispered in my ear before he bit into my earlobe and I shuddered with revulsion. He pulled out of me. "My boss just wants him and you are free to go."  
"I don't have an old man. I don't know who you're talking about." I screamed as he slammed into my ass, I couldn't stop it from coming out and he gave me no time to get used to him he just kept slamming into me as hard as he could and I felt tears pour down my face. He bit deeply into my shoulder as he released inside me.  
"I told you not to lie to me bitch, now I'll have to get one of the others to come play with you, you know they aren't as gentle as I am." He cleaned himself off, tucked himself into his pants and left me alone again. I wish I could curl up into a ball but my arms and legs are chained so that I am spread eagle. I knew that they had only had me for three days but it felt like an eternity. _Tiggy baby where are you?_ I cried and waited for my next rapist to come in, I didn't have to wait long. He was brutal and wasted no time in trying to split me open, I knew that he had torn me because I felt the blood running down my legs. I couldn't stop the scream that ripped from me as he yanked my hair and bit my neck. I heard the door bang open and a gun go off before the man fell face down next to me dead.  
"Baby? F/N?" I heard a gentle voice and I opened my eyes.  
"Tig?" I whispered  
"Oh shit, baby holy shit, what did those fuckers do to you?" He pulled his jacket off and draped it over me before he started to cut the ropes that held me. He got me untied and pulled me into his arms. It hurt so fucking bad but it was what I needed at the moment. "Baby. I'm here, I'm so fucking sorry. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry." I shook my head and held onto him tighter. I felt his tears falling onto my head and he was making devastating noises, like a wounded animal and I just rubbed his hair gently. He pulled me into his arms and carried me out to the van. He sat in the back with me in his lap and I tried to pull away.  
"I'm dirty, I-I don't want to get you dirty." I mumbled and he just shook his head.  
"I don't fuckin care, I've been looking for you for three fucking days and I'm not letting go." Juice climbed into the front and looked at me.  
"Hey sweetheart." I buried my face against Tig and Juice turned and started the van. I felt the van move but I didn't care where it was going as long as it was away from there. After a while Tig slid out of the van with me still in his arms and I saw that we were at home. He took me inside and into the bathroom where he started the water for a bath.  
"I figured you'd want a bath, I'm gonna set you down and go get you some clothes ok?" I nodded and he put me on my feet. "I'll be right back baby." I nodded again and waited for him to leave before I looked in the mirror above the sink. I had bruises on my face, hand print shaped bruises on my neck and both of my shoulders had multiple sets of bite marks on the front and back. I unwrapped Tig's shirt from my body, looked down and saw that I had bruises and bite marks on my breasts, ribs and hand print bruises on my hips. I noticed that they hadn't touched the crow tattoo on my arm and knew that was a message. My wrists and ankles were rubbed raw and bleeding from struggling against the ropes and I knew that when I got into the hot water It was going to hurt like a bitch. I climbed into the tub and sat down, I tried not to cry out so I bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed. Tig came back in and finally got a look at me, I felt the rage rolling off of him and I looked up at him quickly before looking back down at the now orange water. He knelt next to the tub and used the cup that I hadn't seen in his hand to get my hair wet.  
"I can do it, you don't have to look." I tried to take the cup and he just gripped my chin to make me look at him.  
"I want to help you but if you want to be alone I can leave?" I shook my head and he nodded and kissed my forehead. "I'm gonna wet your hair some more ok? is your head cut anywhere?" I reached up to feel and shook my head.  
"I was never knocked out." I whispered and noticed that my voice was raspy. He washed my hair and gently washed my back, shoulders, arms, and legs. he left my breasts and lower regions alone and then handed me the soap.  
"I think you'll want to wash the rest. I'm gonna get you a towel alright? I'll be right back baby." I nodded and started to scrub at the areas that hurt the most. He came back and had to take the soap from me. "You're gonna hurt yourself sweetheart."  
"I don't feel clean yet." I looked at him and I knew that I was breaking his heart.  
"You are though baby, just not on the inside yet but you will be. It's gonna be ok again I promise." I nodded and he held up the towel so that I could stand up without him seeing. "There is clothes here, I didn't know what you would want to wear so I brought you soft stuff." I took a sports bra, underwear, sweatpants and the one shirt that was his and he nodded. "I'll be right out here ok?" He kept reassuring me that he wasn't leaving and that I wasn't alone and I really was grateful for that. I got dressed and opened the door so that I could brush my hair. I noticed that chunks were missing at the same time that he did. "They cut your hair?" I nodded and he sighed. "I can try to fix it if you want but it'll be a lot shorter." I nodded and he went to get some scissors. When he was done it was shoulder length and it looked pretty good.  
"Thank you." He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. "I love you." I mumbled and he looked at me.  
"I love you too baby. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault-" I put my and over his mouth.  
"You came and got me, you didn't do this to me so it's not your fault. Stop saying that because its a lie and I don't blame you." He looked away from me so I reached up and touched his cheek. "I mean it. I will be fine just not right now. But that isn't your fault Tig. I chose not to tell them where you were." He walked me down the hall to our room and helped me get into bed. I felt better after my bath but still really sore.  
"Do I need to go get you a-a kit or anything?" He asked in a low voice and I knew what he meant, _Did they cum inside you?_  
"No, uh they never, uh not there." He nodded  
"Are you hungry? Thirsty?"  
"Uh yeah thirsty I think." He nodded again and went to get me something to drink. I curled up on my side and wrapped myself up in the blankets that smelled like him. I didn't notice that I was crying until he came back in and wiped my face.  
"I got some oxy from Chibs if you want to knock out for a few hours?" I shook my head and he sat down next to me. "Move over, I wanna snuggle." I smiled softly and wiggled over, he laid next to me and gently pulled me so that his arm was around me and I was laying on his chest. "Better?" I nodded and he ran his hand through my hair until I fell asleep.  
  
I woke up and it was dark, Tig was asleep beside me and I got out of bed so that he didn't hear me crying. I dreamed that I was still there, that he hadn't saved me, I was having a panic attack so I went into the living room, pressed my back against the wall and hid between the couch and the bookcase. It was a small space that I felt safe in and I tried to calm myself down. _I'm home, I'm safe, It's ok._ I chanted to myself as the other voice said _No it's not, nothing is ok, nothing will ever be ok again. I'm dirty, dirty, dirty..._ I sat there and felt tears pouring down my face until the sun came up. I dozed off once it was light out but Tig woke me up when he touched my hair.  
"Babe what are you doing?" I jumped and squeaked, he jerked his hand back and looked stricken. "Shit baby, I'm sorry, I couldn't find you, why are you in there?"  
"I uh, it felt safe." I muttered and stood up. He nodded and smiled but I saw the pain in his eyes.  
"Gemma asked me to bring you to the club house so that she could see you, do you feel up for that?" I shrugged _Not really_  
"Sure, I'll go get dressed." I mumbled and slid past him. I wore jeans, sneakers, and a long sleeved shirt. I knew that it was summer but I didn't want anyone to see my bruises. I touched Tig's back as I walked into the kitchen and he kissed my head. "Are all the guys gonna be there?" He shook his head.  
"No uh just Clay, Chibs, and Gemma. The others are on a gun run." I nodded and we headed over to the club house. Riding on his bike was killing me but I knew that he hated riding in my car so I endured it for him.  
"Hey baby." Gemma called to me and walked over to hug me. Clay stood there awkwardly and Chibs came and gave me a kiss on the head. I backed away from them and Gemma just smiled like she hadn't noticed. She led me over to the bar and sat down with me. "Are you hungry?" I shook my head. "When did you eat last?" I shook my head and she sighed. "Ok, I'm gonna make you some food darlin'." Chibs came and sat next to me.  
"Hi Lass, It's good to have you back." I tried to smile and nodded at him. "I know that I am a man and that you might not want to, but I'm here if you need to talk about anything, anytime ok?" I nodded  
"Thanks Chibby. I just want to feel clean and no matter what I do I just don't." I muttered and he nodded.  
"Give it time, You'll get there again, you're not dirty though love, you're strong and I know that you can beat this." I sighed and he ran his hand through my hair gently. "Gemma is gonna want to mother you, and I hope that you'll let her since she needs it as much as you do." He winked and nodded at the kitchen where Gemma had come out carrying enough food to feed four people. She set the plates down in front of me and gave me a look.  
"Gem I can't eat all that."  
"Try." I sighed again and slid a plate over to Chibs.  
"He was saying that he was hungry." I looked at her imploringly and she nodded. _It's gonna be alright_.  
  
  
It had been about three weeks and I was starting to get back to normal. I was still sketchy if someone crept up on me, and my social anxiety was through the roof but I was better. Tig and I even were intimate again and the first time was terrifying but cathartic. He still wanted me and that meant more to me than anything else could have. I knew that I wasn't the same but I was trying to be for him and that was enough for both of us for now. Tig got a call that his daughter Dawn was pulled over in Stockton and asked to come get her. He was excited that he could see her again and I was glad that she had come to visit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this chapter, it will break your heart because it broke mine to write it. HOWEVER I shan't be leaving you broken and bleeding my lovely readers so please don't hate me for long.

It was 3:30 in the morning and my phone was ringing, I was surprised that Tig wasn't next to me but shrugged it off.   
"Hello?"  
"F/N? Are you awake?" It was Clay.  
"Uh yeah I am now, What's wrong?"  
"Uh look, can you come to the club house? It's Tig." My heart sank, was he ok?   
"What happened?"   
"His daughter, oh Jesus, Dawn's dead, uh the guys that took you- Th-they burned her right in front of him. He's a fucking mess." _Oh my God._  
"I'm coming. I'll be right there." Tig was there for me when I needed him and now it was my turn to be there for him. I grabbed my bag and ran out to the car, I was in sweat pants and a tank top but I didn't care. I sped the whole way to TM and ran into the clubhouse. Gemma saw me and motioned me over to her. "Where is he?"   
"He took a bottle with him to his room baby, He's bad, It's so bad." She was tearing up and I nodded as I walked away from her. I knocked on his door but he didn't answer so I just went in.   
"Tig, baby?" I turned on the light and saw him fucking some young blonde girl. "What the fuck Tig?"  
"You mind? I'm in the middle of something." He looked me right in the eye as he said it.   
"Uh look, we need to talk. pull out and lets go home." I tried not to get mad, Gemma said it was bad and while he'd never cheated before he had just watched his daughter die so I could over look it. He was breaking, I understood that and I would pick up the pieces like he did for me because I love him.   
"I'm not done yet, get the fuck out." He looked at me with the coldest eye's I'd ever seen and the girl that was under him pulled away from him and ran out of the room. "Now look what you did. Bad enough we have boring sex at home but you made the fun sex leave." I scoffed.   
"Ok, Tig I think that's enough. Are you ready to go?"   
"You don't get it do you. Jesus you are an idiot. If I wanted to be with you I would have gone home. Did I? No I came here to get laid and have some fun with someone that isn't used up and has PTSD. Someone that doesn't want the same old boring shit night after night, do I look like a fucking cuddler to you? Fucking pathetic. Why are you here anyway? I told Clay to cover for me like he usually does." Each word was like a punch to the heart and I just nodded.   
"I'm your old lady Tig, I have your fucking shitty crow on my goddamn arm and the reason I've got fucking issues is because I wouldn't rat on you!" I screamed at him.   
"That doesn't mean a goddamn thing, you're not my wife and you're not entitled to shit. You always have been easy sex, well except lately, you've been hard to nail and that is really grating on a man. I think I've finally had enough of you and your problems."  
"You listen to me you piece of shit if you want out then tell me to my face but say it straight and stop being an asshole to me because I don't fucking deserve it." Chibs came in and I held up my hand to him so that he would stay silent. Tig looked me dead in the eye  
"I don't want you anymore. Pack your shit and be out of my house by morning. I was never cut out to have an old lady but you confirmed it, you're worthless. And I should have listened to my instinct that taking a whore for an old lady was a bad idea."  
"You got it _baby_. We're fucking done. " I walked out and down the hall. I made it outside before I collapsed and started to panic. Chibs sat with me and pulled me into his lap.  
"It's gonna be ok lass, just breathe, he is having a hard time tonight, he didn't mean it. Breathe for me love. In and out c'mon." He calmed me enough, gave me a cigarette, and went to get Gemma. She came out and sat down with me not saying anything just sitting there.   
"Can I come stay with you for a while?" She nodded   
"Chibs is getting the keys for the truck so that he can help you get your stuff."   
"Thank you." She just rubbed my back and sighed.   
"He didn't mean it, he'll come get you tomorrow you know." I shook my head and looked up as Chibs came outside. "I don't think so Gem." She tossed Chibs the keys to her house and we went to get my stuff. It didn't take long, I only had clothes and a few books. I grabbed my toiletries and pillow and we were done. It only took about twenty minutes to pack up the life that I had been living for the last six years. I left all his clothes, even the shirts he had given me, pictures, and everything that I knew was his. I only took what I brought into this relationship with me, the rest he could keep I didn't want it anymore anyway. I left my keys to the house and his safe on the counter with my phone and the ring that he had given me when he asked me to be his old lady.   
Chibs helped me unload my stuff into Gemma's guest room and he stayed with me so that I didn't do anything crazy. I knew that he was worried and I was grateful that he was there. He held me in his arms until I fell asleep and was still there when I woke up the next morning. He was playing with my hair and looking at the ceiling when I looked at him.  
"Hey Chibby." I rubbed my head on his chest and he laughed.  
"Hello lass, how are you today?"I smiled at him.  
"Pissed off. How are you?" He grinned.  
"Happy to hear that for one, I think that's better then being sad by far." I nodded and sat up, stretching. He took my wrist in his hand and frowned as he rubbed at the scar I had from the ropes that held me.   
"I guess I can say that is a scar from my past life now huh?" I tried to sound flippant but he saw through me. "Uh I bet you have a lot to do today, I don't want to keep you."  
"Nice try love, I'm yours for the day." I nodded and nodded at the door.   
"Coffee?" He got up and followed me to the kitchen. Gemma and Clay were up and she smiled when she saw me.   
"Hi babies." Clay raised a brow at Chibs and smiled at me.   
"Morning sweetheart." He said and passed me the sugar.  
"I appreciate you letting me stay here Clay, I'll be calling and getting my old job back today so I will be outta here in no time." Gemma choked on her coffee.   
"Your old job? Stripping F/N? No baby. We can find you something better than that." I shook my head. I knew she meant well but this was what I had to do for me.  
"No offense but I need to do this on my own. No help from the club ya know?" She nodded and gave me a look meant she understood.   
"You don't have to leave F/N you can stay as long as you want to. I don't know your financial situation but I know that you don't owe us a thing. We love you and want you here." I nodded and looked at my coffee. Chibs squeezed my knee gently. I had no money of my own, that was the problem.   
"You can stay at my place too if you want to. I have a spare room of my own." I smiled   
"Thanks guys but I know that I was just an old lady not a member and that your loyalties lie with him and that's fine. I love you all and will never cut you out of my life."   
"Fuck that F/N, Don't start with all that shite! You're family and always will be." Chibs was pissed and I flinched.   
"Knock it off F/N Tig will pull his head out of his ass and come back to you soon and we all know it." Clay said and I scoffed at him.   
"Who said that I would go back? I'm getting his crow covered as soon as I can and I'm going to move on from him." Gemma looked smug but Clay looked horrified.   
"You want to cover the crow?" I nodded  
"Happy would do it for you, he wanted to pound on Tig last night for how he treated you." Chibs told me  
"Really? He'd cover it for me?" Chibs nodded and I smiled. "I'll have to figure out what I want there then." We finished our coffee and Chibs said he would come with me to talk to my old boss, that he wanted to spend the day with me and I was glad for the company.  
  
  
Within a month I had an apartment that was close to Chibs and him and I saw each other daily. He became my best friend and I became his. We didn't talk about Tig or the club, we were just Chibs and F/N and that was fine with us. I saw Gemma and she invited me to do a movie at Cara Cara and I accepted because the money was great. She promised it was low key and that it wouldn't not be painful at all, she knew that I was still skittish about men. I still hadn't covered Tig's crow yet, I used makeup but I kept it to remind me not to count on a man, that men broke you and left you on the curb like garbage. I had just changed into the little costume and headed out to the set. I was acting as a stripper and was giving my client a fantastic lap dance when I heard a 'What the fuck?' shouted across the set. I turned to look and saw familiar blue eyes glaring at me and the guy I was riding. I saw Happy, Jax, Juice, and a very smug looking Chibs standing behind him.  
"Go away Tig, the adults are working." I said in a bored voice and fluffed my hair. "Oh and Chibs, you left your shirt at my place last night."   
"I'll get it later love, I didn't want to take it off of you an wake you." I smiled and heard Tig growl.   
"What the fuck is this?" He demanded and Gemma came storming out of the office.   
"Why am I not hearing moaning? Tig get the hell out and shut the fuck up, they are trying to work!" She shooed him and they reset the cameras. I tried to act as sexy and I could and I knew it was working because Happy and Juice had to leave. Jax was talking with his mom and Chibs was standing watching the screen. Tig was glaring holes at me and the guy I was working with but we were both professional but it was a relief when the filming was done for the day. I walked over to Chibs and kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna go change and we can go?" He nodded and smiled at me. I totally ignored Tig until he snatched up my arm and stared at it.   
"You got it removed?" I looked him dead in they eye.   
"It was one of my many problems so I took a page from your book and I got fucking rid of it." I told him in an ice cold voice as I wrenched my arm free from his grip. I changed into my low rider jeans and a crop top that one of the girls told me would 'drive him wild' and headed out to Chibs. He was waiting for me by the door and wrapped an arm around me as I approached him.   
"That was fucking brutal love." He whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek. I laughed and nodded.  
"It was meant to be Chibby. He has no reason to get upset since he doesn't love me anymore." I shrugged and he took my bag and we walked out to his bike. I saw Tig sitting outside but didn't acknowledge him because I was trying not to fall apart, I fucking _missed_ him.


	3. Chapter 3

I was relieved when I got to my night job because I knew that Tig wouldn't be there, he wouldn't come pay for what he could get for free at the club house and that made me feel at ease. I enjoyed dancing, it made me feel sexy to know that they stayed to see me, that I could show them a good time without even touching them. My shifts went fast at the club and when I got home I felt charged so I started cleaning my apartment. There was a knock on my door and I opened it to see a bloody Chibs.   
"What the fuck happened?" I ushered him into the bathroom and sat him down by the sink.   
"Tig, he jumped me because he thought we are fucking and decided that he didn't like that." I scoffed.  
"He shouldn't fucking care, he kicked me out remember?"  
"He still loves you darlin' even if he won't say so." I didn't know what to say so I just dabbed at the cut above his eye and put a butterfly bandage over it. His eye was already turning purple but wasn't cut to that was good. I cleaned off his split lip and put a bandage on the cut on his chin and kissed his cheek.   
"All better." He smiled and nodded at me. "I'm sorry Chibby, he had no right to do that to you." I pulled him into my room and he sprawled on my bed. We fell asleep for a few hours and I when I woke up Chibs was still there, his face looked worse in the morning light and I felt may anger build up. I knew that Tig would be at the club house so I slipped out of bed, got dressed in some jeans and Chibs t-shirt and headed over there. Gemma looked startled when i stormed into the club house.   
"Hi, Where's Tig?" She pointed to the church room and I nodded "Anyone in there besides Clay?"  
"Happy and Jax." I nodded and stormed over, I flung the door open and looked at Clay.   
"Excuse me Clay can I interrupt for a minute?" He nodded and sat back against his chair. I walked over to Tig and sucker punched him so hard that he fell out of his chair. They laughed and Tig just glared at me. "How fucking dare you beat on Chibs when he didn't do a fucking thing wrong. He is your brother and you treated him like shit. You had no _goddamn_ right to get mad at him _Alexander_ and you fucking know it." I stood up and went to walk away.  
"He touched what's mine." He told me and I spun around.   
"Yours? Are you fucking kidding me? I haven't been yours in over a month and you know it. You threw me away like I was trash and now you think I'm yours? Go fuck yourself. I'll never be your anything except your past." I kissed Clay on the cheek as I left. "Thank you, sorry for interrupting, I'll see you for dinner tonight." He grinned and nodded at me. I stormed out to the parking lot and was almost to my car when a hand spun me around.   
"You listen to me F/N, you are mine, Chibs knew better then to touch you, he knew why I acted like I did and he still went ahead and fucked you. I was tired of seeing people I love get hurt so I pushed you away. I'm sorry that I did but I felt like it was right at the time." He looked at me and waited for me to reply.   
"That's a cruel joke Tig, what now that I'm doing porn I'm not boring and used up anymore so you was more easy sex? Is that what this is?" I heard my voice break and tried to pull away from him.  
"No baby no, you got raped because of me, and Dawn she- they burned her in front of me because of what I did and I just couldn't handle seeing anyone else get hurt so I told you what I knew would make you mad enough to leave."   
"I didn't leave, you kicked me out, a-and cheated on me, and told me that I was- It doesn't matter. It's done, we're done. You got what you wanted you don't have an old lady chaining you down anymore and I learned how t-to live without you. I'm not with Chibs, he held me together when you left me broken and bleeding Tig. Don't hurt him again when he did nothing wrong." I tried to pull away from him but he held me tighter.   
"No you don't get it. I always wanted you, I still want you baby. I only-"   
"I heard you. It doesn't change anything though. You hurt me and wanted me gone so now I'm gone. Mission fucking accomplished and you should have been sure that you were 100% done before you tossed me away because I am 100% sure that you got your point across. I stuck by you through arrests, jail time, bar fights, stitched you up, and held you together for years, I was willing to over look the fact that you were fucking someone else right in front of me but you let me walk away, you opened the goddamn door and pushed me out. You showed me that I was nothing and now I'm someone else because of that, and I don't think that this me can work with you anymore. I've got too much PTSD and to many 'issues' right? I have to go. I'm gonna be late for work." I paused and looked his straight in the eye. "I guess that I have you to thank for showing me that I didn't need to depend on you, that I could count on me after all."   
This time he let me go when I pulled away and I walked to my car and left without looking back. Part of me wanted to believe him, but I was to angry right now, how dare him make that choice for me. I've known for almost a decade what and who he was and I always loved him no matter what. I pulled into my parking place and saw that Chibs was still here. I tried to be quiet when I went inside but he was up and drinking coffee.   
"Hey there lass." He smirked at me and I knew someone told him what I did.   
"Jax?" He nodded and threw back his head and laughed.   
"Darlin' I would've loved to see his face!" I smiled  
"Did you know?" His eyes went guarded.  
"Know what?"   
"Don't fuck with me, did you know why he acted that way? Is that why you said he would be back?" He sighed and nodded.  
"I told him it was a stupid idea and not to do it but he was inconsolable F/N, he was at the brink of insanity and thinking of keeping you safe was all the kept him from falling over the line." I nodded. "He told you the truth? Why aren't you two going at it like rabbits making up for lost time?"   
"Chibs he made me feel worthless, whether is was good intentions or not he broke me worse than getting raped did. I don't know if I can forgive that ever, but especially not now." He looked at me.   
"Bull shite."   
"Excuse me?"  
"You're afraid that he meant what he said so you aren't going to let him in again."  
"Th-that's not true. I told you what I thought." He shook his head and gave me that 'quit fucking around' look.   
"You love him and want to be with him, you just don't trust that he still loves you. A part of you thinks he meant every word he said and you don't trust him and that's fine, he can earn that back but you have to let him love. Don't continue to punish yourself for his fuckin mistake." I sighed and shook my head.   
"I can't Chibs. He let me walk away and I have to live with that." He rolled his eyes   
"Just think on it alright? You have to get ready for Cara Cara." I nodded and went to take a shower.   
Tig wasn't there mad dogging today, part of me was glad and part of me was sad. I was acting fucking stupid, _he doesn't want me anymore!_ He made that very clear and I have to accept that.  
"Uh F/N?" I looked up at one of the actors on the other set.   
"Yes uh Todd right?" I smiled at him.   
"Right!" He smiled "Uh we haven't worked together but I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime? Maybe get drinks?" Oh.  
"Uh, sure that sounds like fun."  
"Really? Wow um tonight? I could pick you up around 10?"  
"I have dinner with Gemma tonight but I could meet you at 10. Which bar?" He told me and I agreed to meet him there. I smiled and looked up as someone came into the building. "Hi Chibby!" I chirped and he smiled at me.   
"You look chipper, did you talk to Tig?" I shook my head.   
"I have a date for tonight after dinner at Gem's." He looked shocked  
"B-what about Tig?" I smiled and shrugged. "I don't think that's a good idea darlin' where are you meeting him?" I told him and kissed his cheek before I went to finish filming for the day. I followed Chibs over to Gemma's after I got off, I borrowed a dress from the set to wear for my date and I was starting to get excited. I started to tell her about it when Tig walked in, I looked at him and he looked at me. I grimaced and went to find Chibs.   
"You are in so much trouble Filip Telford." I growled at him and he looked at me confused until he saw Tig.   
"C'mon love Clay invited him, you can be civil for the family right?" I sighed and nodded at him. He kissed my temple and I went to talk with Gemma in the kitchen, she didn't know that he was coming but promised that he would be on his best behavior. I scoffed but didn't say anything. Dinner wasn't so bad, Tig and I didn't really say much but it was still nice, Gemma asked me about work and I told her that it was great. Clay asked if Tig was seeing anyone and it got deathly quiet when he said no. I refused to meet his eye and when I checked the time I realized that it was almost 10.   
"Uh Gemma I hate to eat and run but I gotta go."  
"I thought you were off tonight?" She asked and I nodded.   
"Um I have plans, last minute plans." I gave her a look and she just nodded.   
"Plans?" Clay asked  
"She has a bloody date Clay." Chibs said and I sighed and glared at him.  
"What?" Tig asked "Is that true?" I nodded and went to freshen up my face before I left.   
"Thanks for dinner mama. I'll call you in the morning." She nodded and kissed my cheek. I took off my jacket and Chibs whistled at the amount of skin showing. I flipped him off as I walked outside and I heard Clay bust up laughing.  
  
  
The date was going well, I was on my second drink when I felt a hand on my leg. I looked and it was Todd's I frowned softly and gently moved my knee from his grip.   
"Don't touch her." I heard a voice growl behind me and I turned to see Tig. I sighed and looked at him.   
"Why are you here?"   
"Why are you here? I told you the truth and you act like that meant nothing." I whipped around and stood toe to toe with him.  
"Like you acted like our six year relationship was nothing Tig?"  
"We talked that out!" He grabbed my wrist and looked down at it. I realized that I forgot to cover my tattoo. _Fuck!_ "You still have it?"  
"I couldn't figure out what to put over it yet, but Happy said he'd do it for me." He tugged me outside  
"No he fucking won't." Tig pinned me against the wall and pressed his lips to mine. I gasped at the familiar feeling and he used that to his advantage. He kissed me slowly and passionately. This kiss was full of love and I started to push him away.   
"You don't get to do that to me Tig!" I cried and he reached out to brush my tears away. "You broke me and now you kiss me like that and it isn't right. What the fuck do you want from me?" I sobbed and he took me into his arms.   
"I'm so sorry baby, I am such an asshole. Please just please forget what I said. I love you so much and I miss you. I made a mistake. I'm so sorry."   
"How am I supposed to trust you again?" I looked up at him and he sighed.   
"I've never given you a reason not to until now. You were my wife for six years and I still want you by my side, I tried to protect you and I fucked it up. I want you back and I'll do what it takes to prove that to you." I sighed because his eyes were shining with the truth.   
"I miss you Tig but I'm still hurt. I will give you another chance-" His eyes lit up. "But, I'm not moving back in with you yet and I'm keeping both my jobs so you'll have to be ok with that." He looked sad.   
"You're not coming home?" I shook my head.   
"Not right now, I'll stay over or you can stay with me but I'm not ready to live with you again yet."   
"Alright, I can work with that. I really am sorry baby. I love you so much." I tugged his face down to mine and kissed him.   
"I love you too jerk." My heart belonged to him and if he could earn back my trust then who was I to deny what we both wanted? I was going to make him pay for hurting me like that and I know that he knew it. I let him come home with me that night because I missed sleeping next to him and it was like coming home.


End file.
